Every once in a while 
I catch you looking at me
And the instant I do
I look away
Not because I want not to look at you
It is actually all I want to do

But the reason I look away
Is because
What I see
Isn't you
It is a ghost
Your ghost
A shadow sketched by my mind
Of the memories that once were
Of the memories that still haunt me

I see you standing in crossroads
In mirrors
In my dreams
In the songs on my playlist
And I'm constantly running
From all of it
But no matter how much I run
You always seem to catch up
Fuckin hell haha

I shall keep looking away though
And keep ignoring the curls
That slowly build up in my stomach
And that thoughts that patiently await
At the shore of my sanity
To break free
To break me
I shall pretend it's all unreal
And untrue
Until I have either outrun you
Or embraced you

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