Fuck laughter

There was a time 
When I could go
To a friend with
The wounds of the heart
And expect to be sheltered

I have to admit
I was used to it
It was an easy escape
It made me forget

But now
My escape itself
Has escaped
And when I reach out
I am told that problems
Are not things limited to me
If I wanted
I could write a book on
The fact that everyone
Goes through something
At all times in their lives

My purpose was never to burden
It was only to share
Mine and theirs
And it had always been like that
Until now
When suddenly
It isn't
When suddenly
We are to fend for ourselves
When a sickness has set itself upon me
A sickness that comes with distance
From that which I cherish
And from that which I despise
A sickness I would not wish upon
The worst of my enemies

That's okay
I shall go through it alone
For I am sure
There will be many such moments
That shall continue to plague my future

I shall erase from my mind
The fucking concept of relying
And forget about what once was
And what could have been
I shall also feed my ego
And make it a barrier
Between them and me

Let's see once and for all
How much exactly
Can we damage each other
No more fun
No more games
What once was
Now simply fails to remain

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